firecrackerdames:
Kristin Clifford
Stand Up Comedienne,
Manatee enthusiast
Kristin Clifford is funny. No, like you don’t understand. I almost peed my pants because I saw myself in the situations she punched joke after joke out of. Her act is like listening to your best friend be the ultimate funny and adorable version of herself- sparkling wit delivered dead pan and some how sweetly. Just hearing her utter the world “dildo” in and of itself is hilarious.
The first time I ever saw her act was at a Feminine Comique showcase at The Lincoln Lodge. It was right before I was to do my very first stand up set. As you can imagine, I was scared. I was about to get up on stage… as myself… and hope that people found what I said, humorous. The only validation I needed was people’s laughs… chuckles? Head nods? Anything but crickets or tomatoes would suffice. With this war of self acceptance going on inside my head, it was hard to concentrate on the alum that was gracing the stage. That is, until Kristin came out. She was just herself- her wonderful, brilliant self. She didn’t try hard- she just was. She’s intelligent, she’s a nerd with weird quirks and thoughts, and her freak flag flies authentically high.
I’m thrilled to be able to interview her- to be inspired by her and to hopefully inspire you, too.
What is your earliest memory of what you wanted to be when you grew up? Did you think you’d be doing what you’re doing now?
I was always very pragmatic as a child. I remember distinctly in kindergarten that we had an assignment where you took a paper doll home, and had to dress it in the clothes you would wear in the job you wanted when you grew up. My dad helped me make a nurse holding a sign that said “The job for girls,” which, what the F DAD?! That is super sexist in retrospect. My mom is a nurse so I am pretty sure that’s where I got the idea. When I got to school, everyone had these really imaginative careers like circus performer, artist, singer, actress. One girl’s doll was wearing a glittery leotard. These big dreams alarmed me. Nurse: An achievable goal.
When I got a little older, I wanted to be a patent lawyer (from about second grade on). In college, I wanted to be a journalist … post-college I discovered that the hours and the pay for that job really do suck.
I had little dreams of doing comedy, and wanted to fill in for Andy Richter when he left Conan (surely Conan needed a 13-year old sidekick – I had visions of me in a forest-green suit laughing it up) but I never really thought I’d be doing comedy.
What inspires you? Where do you get your ideas? How do you know if an idea is worth doing or tossing aside?
Other comedians inspire me from a comedy standpoint. Also, other people pursuing their dreams in general, they don’t have to be comedy-related although of course that’s what I relate to the most. Ellen DeGeneres is a hero of mine. She’s just so kind and funny and good.
My ideas come from a variety of places. Often, I will write jokes about things that happen to me, like when I invited a guy I liked to a fondue party I wasn’t having yet (and then had to quickly plan and stage a fondue party).
I also write a lot using free association. If I’m stuck I just ask random people (normally my sister or whoever I am writing with) for a suggestion, and free associate from that until I hit on something that I want to talk about. I feel like there’s always stuff rattling around in our subconscious and the right suggestion can shake it loose. Sometimes I just watch TV and whatever is on the next channel is my suggestion. (Ex: infomercial for the Magic Bullet? OK, I will write about food).
If I have a lot to say about an idea, and the bits are easy to write, then I have a feeling it’s going to work. I have been trying lately to really think ideas through. I have a tendency to write quickly, which is fine, but I need to be better about going back and exploring the joke more fully, poking at it until I’ve pulled every last bit of funny out of there! Then I test ideas at open mics and occasionally shows to see how they do. I also ask fellow comics for opinions – lots of them offer great advice and help me tweak jokes or see it from another perspective.
What is your biggest accomplishment to date? And why does it mean so much to you on a personal level?
Oh man! I hate this question. Mainly because I don’t feel I have accomplished anything worthy of being my biggest accomplishment. I am just happy to be doing more comedy. Since I finished my masters degree, I’ve definitely had way more time to devote to comedy and I hope to continue to do so. Happy to still be around and making friends and being invited to do shows. It’s like how I imagine it feels to be really good at sports – you have an ability, and other people notice that ability.
What’s next on the horizon for you? What steps are you taking to get there? How are you staying motivated?
I have a plan! In the next 1-2 years I want to feature at the major clubs in Chicago (one down!). In three years time, I want to be headlining at shows around town – not clubs, but shows. I want to be able to do 30-45 minutes of solid material on a regular basis. In 5 years time, I want to do a set on a talk show (Kimmel, Fallon, Letterman, or Leno).
I also want to write more and more and more. It takes years to develop an hour of material (for most people, some people are just that skilled that it takes less time) and then if you use that hour for say, a comedy special, or part of it on a TV show, you really can’t use those jokes again. Comedy’s not like music – people usually don’t go to a comedy show to see your greatest hits. They want new stuff. Some stuff you can re-use but people don’t want to go laugh at jokes they have heard before.
How do you keep sane? Do you have a re-energizing ritual or de-stresser? How do you keep balance in your life?
I am the absolute worst at all of this. I’m sorry readers. I am actively trying to make things better. One thing I have been doing very recently is walking. I am trying to walk a 5k several times a week (my own 5k not an organized one). Walking is great for stress relief. I also love to read and watch terrible made for TV Christmas movies. I was so overjoyed when I discovered 12 Dates of Christmas was on Netflix Instant! It’s a lame rom-com AND it features Mark-Paul Gosselaar. I LOVE bad TV and bad movies. Especially bad Christmas movies. ABC Family’s 25 days of Christmas is made for me.
Overall, is your circle of family and friends supportive of what you do? If not, how do you handle this?
They are. People come out to shows and are great. Bless their hearts, a lot of people like to say things like “you can use that in your act,” or “I bet your act is all about me.” The truth – no I can’t, and no it’s not.
My dad has very lofty goals for me that include being the next Tina Fey. I don’t know how I can break it to him that I’m not.
I recently told my parents that I will probably have to move in a couple years in order to make a real go of this comedy thing, and they … didn’t really understand. I’m working on that.
What is your advice for someone who is afraid to take that first step towards making their dreams happen? Or still don’t know what their dream is?
Just do it. This is macabre, but for the last year or so I’ve been living like I am going to die soon. What does that mean? I am terrified of dying, so it scares me to even think about it, but I am just grabbing hold of stuff I want to do and doing it now because why wait? If you are not sure what your dream is, try something you like. Not everyone’s dream has to be insanely ambitious either. Do what you want to do and definitely don’t wait another second to start doing it. Not to be all cheesy, but only you have the power to change your situation. It drives me insane to see people complain about things they have total control over. Stop complaining! Stop dreaming! Just do it.
What are you working on right now? And how/when/where can we see it happen?!
I’m continuing to do shows. I produce a monthly show at the Underground Lounge with some friends called the Stardust Showcase (www.stardustshowcase.com) that happens on the first Saturday of the month. Other than that I do whatever shows I can! I am branching out into Milwaukee I hope with some upcoming shows there. I usually have everything new on my website, www.kristinclifford.com so if anyone is interested in seeing me they can check me out there. I am also trying to get booked on some college shows – we’ll see how that goes!
Another project – a mystery novel featuring a comedian protagonist! There’s too many knitting and crocheting mystery series. Or ones about wine and baking. We need some jokes up in there, Berkley Prime Crime novels. Whatever.
You’re on your death bed. Your best friend is sitting at your bed side and is having trouble writing your eulogy. She asks for your help. “How do you want to be remembered?” She asks. After you smack her, you say…?
I want to be remembered as nice. That’s it. Being kind to other people is important. I’m not perfect but I hope that by the time I’m dead I get it right.
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See Kristin’s clips and comedy bits here. Who knows, you may even see some lady bits, or rather bits about her lady bits.
